Meandering Rib Scarf

I finished my knitting! Huzzah! Here's the finished product:

This was my first knitting project, and my attempt at Lion Brand's Meandering Rib Scarf. I used one skein (I would have liked to have used both skeins I bought, but I had Christmas time constraints) of Caron's Simply Soft Eco acrylic yarn, Ocean color (cheap soft yarn from Wal-Mart! Yay!). I repeated the pattern 13 times, I believe.

The reason it's flared out is two-fold ... on the left side of the picture, it's flared out because I had just started to knit and didn't quite know what I was doing. I wanted the other side to match, so I just knit looser. In retrospect, I could have just added stitches. Ah well. It was late at night.

Close up on the texture:

Mom and Peter seemed to both like the scarf!

Flying

As many of you know ... my imagination is too vivid for its own good.

So on the plane from Memphis to Dallas Fort Worth last night, when the engines sounded like a train bellowing right next to my ear, I knew the plane was going to blow up. It didn't matter that I was sitting in the back of the plane, next to the engines. The woman behind me who shielded her eyes and clutched her husband's hand told me everything.

I formulated my plan of self sacrifice. As soon as flames began to shoot from the left engine, I knew I would throw myself over the baby who was sleeping in his great-grandmother's arms next to me.

And then we landed safely and all this went to rot.

Fear.

My Psych final was today. We didn't have an exam, just a final paper dealing with a psychological model explaining the Self in light of the fall. One of the main conclusions in this model was the fact that the False Self (fallen away from what God created) lives in fear.

Part of the paper was to integrate ourselves into the model, to show how the model works by giving examples of our own lives. That was hard. To write an academic paper about true fears you are struggling with, things you hardly tell anyone.

The root problems are fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, and fear of humiliation. But out of this, I've found

I'm afraid of friendship

I'm afraid of leading worship

I'm afraid of speaking up in class

I'm afraid of conversation

I'm afraid of acceptance

I'm afraid of arguments with my boyfriend

I'm afraid to start or continue music lessons

I'm afraid to audition for anything

And as I remembered today, I'm afraid to confront someone who I know has deeply hurt someone else in my life, so I just content myself with glaring at the back of their heads.